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«О любви, о романтике... и еще немного бреда об этом»

Пародия на все романтические комедии сразу, склеенная из цитат - по тому же принципу, что "Очень страшное кино". 200-килограммовая девушка Джулия мечтает о большой и чистой любви. Пластическая операция превращает ее фантазии в реальность: девушка избавляется от жира и комплексов, становится миниатюрной красоткой и немедленно встречает своего Принца. Увы, романтический блондин оказывается дурно воспитан, и к тому же его свадьбу с Джулией пытается расстроить коварная экс-подружка жениха.


Памятные цитаты:

Nicky: Thinking about the honeymoon makes my sack all quivery and shit.

Galdalf: [Gandlaf is hit in the crotch] My precious!

Andy: Grant told me you were pretty, but he didn't mention that you were flat-chested. How cute.

Frank Jones: When I first got married to your mother, we barely knew each other. Could barely even speak the English language.
Julia Jones: But you're from Jersey...
Frank Jones: I'm trying to make a point here.

Andy: I'll give you two grand if I can fuck you in the ass.

Grant Funkyerdoder: [faking an orgasm] OH, yeah. Oh yeah that's it! Yes! Yes, yes, yes. Y-y-y-y-yes! Whew... yes.
Waitress: So you're saying you want the porkchops?
Julia Jones: I'll have what he's having.

Michael Jackson Look-A-Like: C'mon! It's just a little Jesus juice!

Napoleon: Idiot! Hell no I won't marry you! Gosh! What would you do if you were in a situation like this? Gosh! Gosh! Gosh! Gosh!
[Starts dancing]

Old Cat Woman: [watching through the window] She was faking it, but I wasn't.

[Julia desperately needs a makeover]
Julia Jones: I heard you were the best.
Hitch: You're goddamn right I'm the best! Look at all the couples I'm responsible for. You got Brad and Jen, Jessica and Nick, Ben and Jen, Ben and Jen, Ben and Matt, Kobe and Shaq, Ellen and Anne. Yeah, I do them too.

Biker: I love puerto rican men, they're spicy!

Julia Jones: Why is she in slow motion?
Grant Funkyerdoder: She likes to make an entrance.

Frank Jones: [as Jinxers is humping Frank's dead mother] I didn't teach him how to do that!